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Afrontar la maternidad

Embarazo y parto


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¿Te sientes la mujer más dichosa del mundo y de repente te da un bajón? El arranque de la maternidad suele traer consigo una noria de emociones positivas y negativas que hay que saber controlar para disfrutar de esta nueva experiencia. Toma nota.


Compártelo con tus amigas:

El inicio de la maternidad es una etapa de ilusión y grandes expectativas que, sin embargo, lleva asociadas emociones que muchas veces hacen sentir a la mujer desbordada. Afrontar esta nueva situación vital lleva consigo a menudo inseguridad, miedo o desconocimiento.

Con tanto cambio, la maternidad trae consigo la pérdida de nuestras rutinas, de nuestras costumbres, el tiempo personal y de ocio se trastocan… Y aparecen nuevos requerimientos que necesitan que estemos más alerta y que aprendamos nuevos roles: saber cómo cuidar al bebé, intuir qué le sucede, por qué llora…

La relación de pareja también se puede resentir ya que casi todo se centra en los cuidados del bebé. Si a esto le unimos el cansancio y la falta de sueño, la combinación que se produce puede llevar a la mujer a estados de tristeza y ansiedad. Por eso es habitual que, tras el parto, las emociones positivas y negativas se mezclen.

Hay que saber manejar estas emociones para disfrutar al máximo de esta nueva experiencia y saber aportar el cuidado y el cariño necesarios tanto a nuestro bebé como a nuestra pareja y, por supuesto, a nosotras mismas.

Ansiedad

La ansiedad es un aumento de tu nivel de activación. ¿Por qué aparece durante la maternidad? Se nos viene encima el peso de la responsabilidad. De un día para otro tenemos a nuestro cargo a nuestro hijo, recién nacido e indefenso y que no puede decirnos por qué llora.

En ocasiones esta ansiedad puede desbordar a la madre y convertirse en un problema al que prestar atención. Estate muy atenta para detectar que no estás cayendo en la hipervigilancia del bebé:

  • Estás constantemente con pensamientos rumiativos. Das vueltas de forma obsesiva a alguna cuestión sin llegar a ninguna conclusión
  • Compruebas a cada momento que todo lo haces bien. Consultas foros y opiniones de otras madres ante cualquier pequeño cambio en tu pequeño

Cuando la ansiedad se desborda nos puede provocar el efecto contrario: en vez de mantenernos activas y alerta para afrontar problemas, actúa como un “saboteador” que no nos permite pensar con claridad y nos lleva a tomar decisiones equivocadas o a un exceso de control que nos termina por agotar y superar.

Tristeza

Todas las madres sienten cierta  tristeza o melancolía en algún momento. Aunque no está bien visto hablar de ello, ten presente que la maternidad no es un anuncio de televisión. Hemos ganado muchísimo, pero también hemos perdido rutinas, seguridades, el control de nuestros horarios y nuestra capacidad de decidir lo que queremos hacer en cada momento. Ahora lo único y más importante es el bebé.

Esto conlleva que se alterne el peso de la responsabilidad con otros en los que nos invade la melancolía y la tristeza. Sentirlo no significa que seamos malas madres o que no lo estemos viviendo como “se supone” que debemos vivirlo.

No tengas miedo a quejarte o a expresar tus diferentes emociones. Son parte de este momento tan único y especial de tu vida. Todas las mujeres se han sentido inseguras o nerviosas ante la llegada de un nuevo hijo y eso es lo que nos indica que estamos en el camino y que queremos ser no la mejor madre, sino una buena madre para nuestro pequeño. Vas a ser una gran madre. ¡Adelante!

Consejos para manejar estas emociones negativas:

  • Trata de ganar tiempo para dormir y descansar cuando el niño esté dormido.
  • Pon límites a las visitas: necesitas tiempo para ti y para tu familia. No pasa nada por decir “no” y posponer la visita a un momento en el que te encuentres más descansada.
  • Dedica un tiempo para tu pareja, para charlar sobre cómo os sentís, los miedos, las inseguridades, e incluso para pediros perdón por algún momento en el que debido al cansancio no habéis sabido comunicaros.
  • No pasa nada por pedir ayuda. No existen las “súper-mamás”, no tienes por qué saberlo todo. Comenta con amigas, familiares o profesionales las dudas que tengas. Esto no quiere decir que seas peor madre, seguro que te sentirás comprendida y arropada.
  • Mírate al espejo, dedica un mínimo de tiempo para ti: cámbiate de ropa durante el día, sal a pasear con el bebé… Esto te obligará a arreglarte, salir y hablar con otras personas.
  • No olvides disfrutar del bebé, no solo ocuparte de él o cuidarle. A veces nos olvidamos del placer de que esté a nuestro lado debido al peso de la responsabilidad o del miedo a no saber cuidarle. Disfruta del contacto con él, abrázale, siéntele, bésale…

Si ves que no puedes gestionar tus emociones y te superan. Si te sientes triste o ansiosa todo el tiempo, ¡atenta! Puedes estar teniendo una depresión postparto. Hasta el 13% de las madres españolas van a padecerla, según un reciente estudio realizado por el Hospital Universitario Vall d´Hebron (Barcelona). Si te pasa, no dudes en consultar con un profesional.

Fuente: Alicia Jiménez, psicóloga

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